Profile: Ronnie Rivers

[mericlecure]

::The Basics::

|| Name: Veronica "Ronnie" Rivers || Game: Eidolon City || Age & Sex: 32, Female || Career: Escort || Character Type: Aspect of Eve || Played By: Naomi Watts || Scenes: Tag

::Appearance::
Ronnie, to her fortune or not, has always been rather striking in looks. And despite a decade or so of substance abuse she still is a beautiful woman. But a series of very faulty decisions and building regrets have dimmed some of that seemingly careless brightness and glow of her earlier youth. Her smile and eyes usually have a tired edge about them; and when she's tripping or high or undergoing sever withdrawal symptoms, it isn't pretty. Her most striking features are usually her hair, which is a beautiful shade of blond, and her eyes which are a clear blue (although that might not be the focus they're bloodshot or glazed over).

In terms of general appearance, clothing, and upkeep it really depends on where Ronnie is at mentally and physically. She often finds herself waking up in the wrinkled clothes of the day(s) before, or -- if she has a moment of clarity and a shower and a good day -- she can look just as fresh and youthful and captivating as ever. Her wardrobe can be as unsteady as her personality. She can be seen in pants and a shirt, but she can also be found dressed up in a manner that can be anywhere from alluring to trashy looking. But, despite being in her 30s and the ever increasing sense of tiredness about her, she still has the ability to make a paper bag look fun and flirty when she's not out of it. Which is a good thing, because Ronnie isn't swimming in cash and even her dolled-up dresses aren't top-of-the-line.

But even when she's tired or tripping and in wrinkled previous-day clothes, Ronnie can somehow still manage that seductive charm that has been used many a time to get her way, or just lead somebody (particularly men) astray.



::Personality::
Ronnie is a troubled soul. She's first and foremost a drug addict. And this addiction greatly interferes with all aspects of her life, because -- like with all true addictions -- the compulsion to fill this need manages to supercede the people she cares about and her own hopes for a better life. And, depending on where she is in regards to her addiction greatly affects her personality so that she can seem like practically a different person one day than she was the day before. And she doesn't like being an addict. It's why she's tried to get clean so many times. It's also why everytime she does say she'll get quit she actually means it (or really hopes for it) when she says it. But what usually happens is that something happens, leaving her feeling overwhelmed, or the withdrawal symptoms are too awful to bear and she falls back off the wagon.

She has a lot of self-loathing, tied to her inability to overcome her addiction and the absolute mess she's made of her life -- especially in regards to her daughter and Jesse. Ronnie is torn between guilt at leaving and not being around so much and between thinking that was the best choice for Jessie's sake as Ronnie has it in her head that she would have been just as messed up even had she stuck around... only then Jesse and Baby J would have had to deal with it everyday. She's also quite naturally manipulative and adept at it, which is another aspect of herself that she isn't proud of.

But despite her addiction and host of issues, Ronnie has always had and still has an enigmatic persona that can still manage to push through even when her drug use is in a bad state. It may not be quite as bright and blatant as it was as a teenager, but despite everything she's still managed to hold onto a force within her personality that made people love her or hate her in high school. And while, being in her early thirties, she doesn't have that blatant freshness of youth. But Ronnie is still a beautiful woman, who can still prove captivating in parties and social situations. A sub-skill of her naturally manipulative nature, she knows how to turn on the charm and allure. And if she's having a clear moment or a good day, where the weight of her bad decisions seems miraculously lifted for a moment without the use of drugs or alcohol, that charm can still come through without her trying.



::Aspect Details::
Temptation -- she struggles with it, especially for things that provide instantaneous if short-term gratification. Even though Ronnie is fully aware that some decisions will have disastrous long-term consequences or regrets, she has trouble resisting them if they promise immediate pleasure or relief. And this is largely how she got into narcotics in the first place, even though she was aware that getting into such things was a bad bad idea. And, like the aspect she embodies, Ronnie has an even harder time when it's an especially forbidden fruit dangling before her.

Bad Influence -- even if she doesn't explicitly mean to, Ronnie just tends to be a bad influence. Or more, she especially tends to influence people towards things that society or general opinion considers less acceptable. It's particularly easy for her to lead people astray -- especially men. It's easy enough for her to fall into doing that, that she tends to do it without realizing it. At best Ronnie is prone to pushing people towards new experiences, which can just as often result in broadened horizons and greater knowledge as it could end in disaster. But at worst she can lead people to their downfall. Generally people (male and female) are more likely to do something if Ronnie is suggesting it as opposed to anyone else. It's not that they can't say no to whatever she's suggesting, only that it's much harder to resist or they tend to be more accepting when she's the one suggesting it. Males, young and old, are prone to this even more so than females.

Fallen -- either mentally, physically, or circumstantially, Ronnie isn't walking around the Garden of Eden. Some part of her is always experiencing some 'fall from grace'. Even when she was one of the most popular kids in her school and had a solid relationship with her boyfriend, her family situation was financially poor and her home life was unstable and one she was usually trying to escape from. Currently Ronnie, trapped in and struggling with her addiction, is living on the fringes of society. And although she can count on Jesse for help and money and support, her relationship with her daughter is incredibly estranged and the James' family is probably all too happy to never hear from or about her again.

Aspect Origin -- Ronnie's nature becomes significantly less troubled and more naive and curious. She becomes even weaker to temptation, and just as prone to breaking rules. Although now it's more fueled by curiosity than any self-destructive or escapist urges. She absolutely cannot resist that, when she's told specifically not to touch something or not to go somewhere, going where and doing what she was explicitly forbidden. And while she still exudes a bad influence, and men are extremely prone to going along with what she says or suggests, she isn't prone to manipulation. It's more along the lines she thinks something would be fun, or wants to try something, and has a compulsion to invite other people -- especially guys -- along too. The naive nature means she's also more prone to trusting what people say without second-guessing it and is easily tricked. Her nature as Eve is more gentle, and considerably more nurturing and mothering. Although she also has the unfortunate luck of attracting more blame than is her due.



::History::
Ronnie had never had what could be called a stable home life. Her parents seemed to dislike being with each other about as much as they disliked being parents. While there were moments where they tried, even the small stresses of parenting were ones that they didn't handle well. Not unusual in the neighborhood, her father was an alcoholic -- which generally meant he stayed out drinking at best and came home drunk or to drink at the worst. Her mother, too caught up mourning the loss of her youth (which she blamed on getting unexpectedly pregnant, among other things), which sent her to the bottle or doped up mind-numbing pills. Ronnie's mother, unknown to anyone in the family, suffered from a bipolar disorder that went undiagnosed.

At best and for the most part, Ronnie's home life was indifferent and let her be and at worst it was emotionally and occasionally physically abusive. Usually her parents threw their venom at each other, but sometimes Ronnie would find herself on the receiving end of their venom. She took fairly early to sneaking out from the home, staying over at friends, and -- starting sometime in high school -- even camping out for a couple nights at the Sunny Shores Motel when things got really bad. But despite that, the girl seemed alright considering the environment she came from. School, at least, was great. Sure, her grades weren't the greatest and she was a bit of a wild child but who wasn't? She was beautiful and witty and popular and confident and charismatic and fun. Although some jokes made by Ronnie and the group she hung out with were certainly at the expense of the less popular or 'weird' kids and teachers, it was all in good fun as far as her and her group were concerned. She had great friends and fun (if wild) times and was generally loving life.

Oh, and there was the boyfriend of course. Ronnie knew that, even without her looks and popularity, she was the envy of more than a few girls in school just for dating Jesse James alone. And that was more than fine by her. Part of the attraction certainly started superficial on her part: he was hot, for one thing. He had the whole 'Bad Boy' label, was charming, fun, and could take a girl on the best date ever where somebody's fast car was 'borrowed' for a joy ride. And Ronnie, who was no model citizen and a bit wild herself, couldn't help being further seduced by the whole 'Bonnie and Clyde' picture she saw them in. But then something happened -- mainly it turned out that there was a pretty decent, caring, and sharp guy in addition to the bells and whistles. And Ronnie found that the attraction of hers that been initially founded on the superficial transformed into something solid and some point after that she was undoubtedly in love with the boy.

Which meant that when she found out she was pregnant a couple months before graduation? Ronnie refused to abort the baby or go off to some convent to have it and give it away. If it had been any other guy, the apprehension and fear of parenthood and shame of getting pregnant meant she probably would have done one of those things. But it was Jesse's baby, and there was no way in hell she was going to abort it or give it up. Unfortunately getting rid of the baby one way or the other was exactly what her parents (especially her mother) wanted her to do, and Ronnie telling them 'no' never went over particularly well at her house. And something this big? It really didn't go over well. Which meant one very emotional and distressed call and some very short time later Jesse was there and Ronnie was packing up a bag. And then things quickly went downhill from there. Her father was not happy with her obviously planning to leave and refusing to get rid of the baby and having the guy who got his daughter pregnant and humiliated his family in his home, and Jesse wasn't too happy with her father... and, well, her boyfriend and future father of her child getting into physical fight with her own ass of a father only solidified Ronnie's desire to leave home and never come back again.

So she left to stay at the James', and things were really looking up. She took care of herself, and actually managed to quit all drinking, smoking, and pot use for the entirety of the pregnancy. She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Jessie Angelia James, who she insisted on naming after the father despite the funny looks garnered. But, of course, the fact that Ronnie Rivers and Jesse James were having a baby alone garnered funny looks at best and genuine worry at worst. But to everyone's genuine surprise, it seemed that things would actually go well. The couple seemed serious about parenthood, got an apartment, and got engaged even though decisions about actually setting a date were put off with all the other craziness going on. Jesse especially stepped up to the plate as a parent, and for a while Ronnie did too. It shouldn't have been so hard, especially with how supportive Jesse's family was. But the day-to-day responsibility of parenting started to overwhelm her exacerbated by the fear of being just as awful and abusive a parent as her own. That put a strain on her, and led to straining her relationship with Jesse. And when they didn't stay together, and Ronnie planned to leave as she usually did when things felt like too much, she initially wanted to take Baby J with her. But Jesse fought for custody. And the fact that Ronnie knew he had stepped up more as a parent than she had, and he had a family that was so supportive, and her own fears about the type of mother she might become meant that when she went with the decision she thought was best for Baby J, she let Jesse take custody.

And things quickly disintegrated from there. For a while Ronnie was still consistently there to help take care of her daughter even if her and Jesse weren't still together. But around this time she picked up drinking more heavily and time between visits went from a day or two to a week. And then the bad habits piled up, and she started narcotics, and then she became addicted, and the time between visits became intermittent and sporadic -- separated anywhere from a couple days to months. And she more or less is there now.

While she's had some jobs, she hasn't been able to hold one down for long. Save for a little over eight months at the high class brothel, Babylon. This time here was actually one of the higher moments of her life. Even if she preferred not to dwell to much on what exactly she was being paid to do, at least she was doing it on her terms. The madame, Eris, took extremely good care of Ronnie and the other girls. And everything was consensual -- which was a security that hadn't been guaranteed in Ronnie's life since leaving her family. But despite that, Ronnie found it impossible for her to face Jesse and her daughter when she worked there, even if she only faced them sporadically. And so she finally left, opting for the dangerous instability with brief and sporadic encounters with her family over a comfortable life at Babylon that guaranteed Ronnie could never face her daughter or Jesse again.



::Special Abilities & Skills::
In high school her boyfriend of a criminal taught her some pretty useful skills that Ronnie has managed to make use of and expand on: lock picking, hotwiring cars, self defense, driving, etc. And she can do pretty well with these skills, as well has managed some successful breaking and entering when the owners or tenants were very much away.



::Personal Weaknesses::
Addiction -- she's a drug addict, and she's spent at least a good decade becoming both mentally and physically dependent on narcotics. And her drug compulsion is her first priority, even though she hates that about herself. It interferes with her life, and her wishes and attempts for something better. And it's dangerous, and not just because of the risk of overdose. Given the choice between drugs and food, even if she's starving? Ronnie might very well choose the drugs. Her addiction is especially disastrous to her relationships. Even though she loves her daughter and a good part of her still cares for Jesse, her need to get another fix very often results in her choosing her addiction over the two people Ronnie cares about. She's well aware of this, and again she hates herself for it. She's been largely absent in her daughter's life and the need to feed that addiction generally leads her to take advantage of Jesse and the guilt and crappiness she feels from doing so are soon drowned out by a bottle or the narcotics. And when she does try to kick the habits? It's not pretty, at all. She goes through horrible withdrawal: getting sick, irritability, depression, anxiety, shivers... it's not a pretty sight. And even without those physical effects? There's always the mental compulsion to fall off the wagon. Which means that, if she were to somehow someday get clean for good?, she will always have that inner struggle to face.

Memory -- while the drug use has thus far been rather kind to her looks, it's taken a toll on her mentally. Most of her past memories are in tact, and skills she's picked up and used over the use are still sharp. But picking new things up is more difficult for her than it is for most people. If she wants to pick up a new skill? It requires far more repetition and practice than general. And if she plans to do something but doesn't write it down? She'll very often forget it. Sometimes the small details of her day become lost -- if she did or didn't eat that morning, or whether she went to the store, or what somebody told her in an earlier conversation. And this also affects her ability to gauge time properly -- sometimes if she's hanging around it'll feel like only five minutes have passed only to find it's been a couple hours, or she might think only a day or two have passed when it's been closer to a week. Which doesn't help when it comes to remembering dates, holidays, or birthdays. And other times it's the reverse, where it honestly feels like hours have passed only to find it's been fifteen minutes. Oh, and of course, this means she's pretty god awful with remembering new names -- it really requires a couple meetings or significant repition of the name for it to stick.

Relationships -- either do to bad judgment, taste, or luck... Ronnie is usually finding herself hopping from one bad relationship to another... and sometimes it's fantastically bad. Of course, her recreational activities and usual hangouts aren't exactly laden with the fine upstanding men of Eidolon City. And she's dated guys from all kinds -- once one was even her dealer (bad idea) and with her looks has managed flings with both rich and poor -- and out of all of them the best guy she's been involved with was Jesse. Which, especially considering the pre-Baby J days, wasn't exactly raising the bar high for World's Greatest Boyfriend.

Runaway -- when things get tough (or sometimes it's just a case of the small things somehow overwhelming her), Ronnie usually gets going. Away. It started as a kid, whenever things at home got especially bad she usually headed over to friend's house or just snuck out. And halfway through her freshman year of high school she even started camping out at the Sunny Shores Motel for days at a time to avoid the rocky home life. Unfortunately that trend stuck with her. And when she felt overwhelmed by the day-to-day responsibilities of parenthood and by fears that she would undoubtedly be just as bad a parent as her own were, Ronnie left. And when the guilt of that decision racked her nobody where she went off to? She found ways to escape emotionally from her intangible problems.

Self-destructive -- she can certainly make some pretty bad decisions and engages in some dangerous behavior and gives into temptations that she knows will end up in regret or hurt parties in the end... and one has to wonder whether part of it just comes from some self-condemning, self-destructive issues. While there is certainly a part of her that wishes and wants to be better and try to fix her life and her relationship with Jesse and her daughter (even though she's aware that'll be incredibly difficult), it's always at war with the part of her that says it won't work out and wants to punish herself for her choices.

Excuses -- while there are certainly some circumstances out of her control that have had a significant sway over her life, Ronnie also has a tendency to come up with excuses or to blame outside circumstances for her own decisions, or to use excuses as justification for her actions or stop trying. For example, a large part of why she left Jesse and her daughter was that -- given the crappy parents she had as role models -- had already condemned herself to be a horrible mother as justification to why not being absent would be better for her daughter than having Jessie be raised with poor mothering.

Manipulation -- Ronnie is good at manipulation. She's actually kind of a natural at it, in that she often does it without realizing. But this isn't a strength, because Ronnie is not proud of herself when she does it, but she often ends up doing it despite her disgust and it's very often for petty or disappointing reasons. She might manipulate a guy to stay for another drink or a night together regardless of whether he had plans of heading back home to his wife; and all simply because she was lonely, or bored, or wanted a good time, or wanted to forget about her problems by losing herself in someone else. Or she might manipulate somebody into giving her a gift because she could pawn it for money, or getting money out of someone for a fix. Or she might find herself manipulating somebody to do something just because she was interested in seeing what would happen. It's a part of herself that she hates, and sometimes when she catches herself doing it she'll stop. And other times she'll continue on knowing full well what she's doing despite despising the fact she's doing it.

Jessie -- she's certainly up for the World's Worst Mom award. And her failure as a mother is yet another glaring wound in her psyche that exacerbates burying herself further into drugs or alcohol. But she does love her daughter, and hopes and wishes the best for her. She doesn't have much, but one thing she always has is a small picture of Jessie -- even though it's now years out of date. Ronnie thinks probably one of the very few decent decisions she's made in life was giving in and letting Jesse take custody of their daughter. And, even though she hates herself for being a bad mother and not being there and for having to usually rely on Jesse's or other people's updates for glimpses of her daughter's life, Ronnie can't help but feel that being largely absent is doing Jessie a favor. After all, with Jesse, her daughter has turned into the stable, happy, loved, and confident teenaged girl she is now -- and Ronnie feels (and she's probably right) that had she stuck around she would've only burdened her daughter with issues that would've messed her up.




::Personal Strengths::
Jesse -- Ronnie knows a good number of people, most rather shady or part of the dredges of society, but there is only one person she knows that she can actually count on and has been able to count all these years. And she knows that Jesse would do (or, really, that she can get him to do) just about anything for her, even though she is very much aware that she doesn't deserve it. But Ronnie knows Jesse well, can almost read him like a book, and has some knowledge of his criminal past and 'jobs' that other friends and family may not be privy to. And even though she isn't proud of it? For better or worse Ronnie knows how to get into his head, and what buttons to push, and how to appeal to Jesse's weaknesses, and basically just how to just play the man.

Moments of clarity - sometimes, scattered amongst the numerous drug trips and bad relationships and even worse life decisions, Ronnie has moments of vivid clarity that where she's lively and youthful and fun and charming and witty and basically a far cry from the woman with bloodshot eyes found so often in a trip or a bad withdrawal.



::Family & Connections::
Jesse -- the high school sweetheart, ex-fiance, and babydaddy; while she cares about him still, when she usually only shows up every couple of months or so it's almost always initiated by the aim (or at least pretense) of asking for money.

Jessie -- her estranged daughter whose life she has been largely absent from, although Ronnie always asks about her and tries to keep distant tabs on her life when she can.

Eris -- ex-madame of Babylon and Ronnie's old boss. Ronnie greatly respects and admires the woman; and is forever grateful and loyal to her for the security, comfort, and some restoration of independence and control that Eris offered under her roof.

Brett -- a man who came into Babylon with a group of his O'Malley 'buddies' and who, while he would pay for services, refused to let any services be performed. Sometimes Ronnie was fine with it and would just keep to herself as he sat brooding in the room, and other times she would be relentless in trying to get a reaction out of him.

Ava -- another ex-whore of Babylon.



::Other Information::
Residence: As far as living space is concerned she's been in a couple of places -- by herself, having roommates, living with the current bad news boyfriend at the time -- and many many times has found herself returning to the Sunny Shores Motel that she often escaped to in her youth. In fact over the years she's come to know the owners by name and even usually gets a discount when she stays because it seems to be a place she always ends up. Hell, while they don't actually reserve a room for her indefinitely they usually tend to let out room 306 last, so that it almost always is the room Ronnie ends up getting when she stays there.

Career History: None, really. Various odd jobs, some legal some not. When she needs money or other necessities she can manage getting it somehow from someone else, and if she's really in a rut? She can go to Jesse. At the moment, has a gig as an escort at the agency Eris and Brett run.

---Ronnie keeps a picture of her daughter somewhere on her person at all times, although the picture itself is actually a couple years out of date

---For the most part she's pawned most of the gifts and jewelry she's received from Jesse and other relationships, but the one thing she has held onto is an old folding knife Jesse gave her in high school. While she may not always have it on her person, and may actually tend to hide it away and bury it beneath her things somewhere, she always has it amongst her possessions regardless of where she's staying.
 



::Awards::